Joowon Jung

An example of an ostrich is often given when you liken someone who is ignoring the coming anxiety. Ostrich is overwhelmed by the fear when the threat comes, just putting his head on the ground and waiting for the threat to disappear. Sometimes our actions resemble that of an ostrich. The term ostrich syndrome exists. The burden and fear of the situation is too much so that people choose to ignore it.

Avoiding situations that cause discomfort and fear can relax us in the short term. Rather than true relaxation, it calms our minds from the uncertainty that might happen in the future. However, the effect of this avoidance usually does not last long and brings oneself into the discomfort mind zone and starts to vexing again and again. Evasion of discomfort can flee from reality for a while, and there is no way we can truly escape from our unstable minds. What does it mean that we can't get away from our minds? It means that we cannot stop imagining, which spontaneously comes to our minds. We cannot make our mind, which is synchronized, in a state of neutral gear. Sadly, we don't have gear stick for it.

When I face something frightening or disgusting but not a significant one, I try to regard it as meaningless in my life. But if it is something that has a big meaning in life, you will not be able to avoid thinking of it. Even if you leave and avoid the situation, your mind will remain in that situation and may position you in an endless loophole.

Psychoanalyst Freud said that coming from outside danger was fear, and he used the term 'anxiety' as he found out that internal danger could be feared as well. People want to turn away or quickly get rid of such anxiety because it is painful—the same as fear. Sigmund Freud said that it's time to feel fear when we accept or ignore reality as we want to understand rather than face it and solve problems. These actions were called "self-deceptive" and were viewed as a psychological aspect of protecting oneself by minimizing negative emotions.

So, I think as a solution, we can take the action of 'flexibility'. The attitude we need is to think about how to act now in every situation, every moment, and in the most meaningful way, and then respond differently and flexibly at that time. It might sound lame, but it is possible. I did get with the process of making art. The work that I made in 2017, which is right before heading to the Netherlands, seems to be good to start up this section.

The reason for me making the work was from just a simple sentence. Ex boyfriend's words, lightly thrown at me, "If you have a minute, how about a cup of coffee?". Which makes my head complicated in an instant. Though these kinds of small triggers often cause big emotional changes in everyday life and shake repetitive and stable lives to disorganized mental state.

Recently I was in a similar situation but more in an emotionally overwhelming way. Felt like being tied somewhere and being manipulated by whichever bothers me. Looking back over this period, it didn't happen for one reason but through a series of interactions between events. I want to write some of the events which can explain the starting point of works (Title:Fragility/ Voice).

Since the beginning of the semester, the emotional burden has been piled up. The pressures of making a great masterpiece, of having difficulty adjusting my body to Nederland's time (I spent a month in Korea, and it has an 8hour time difference) and of getting myself ready for the routine had risen. By that time, I was building an emotional tower that was about to collapse sooner or later. And this accumulated toxin of emotions ran toward its limits when I was heading to New York.

It was a study trip that I assumed it must be more problematic than my own pace trip. Yes, it was. Not because I was sick for a while and couldn't join the program, or I missed a lot of things or listening to the story of how to survive in a competitive city. Those were okay. My emotion was under my control. It was all fine. Then it was not.

I heard from my friend on Monday about A (A; a person who is the best friend of my best friends from their high school). When I heard that she doesn't exist in the world anymore, my system broke down. Even I was not close to her. More or less, we knew each other's existence though I knew quite well about her, where she recently moves to, which company she wants to get in, her life goal, boyfriend, etc. Trivial information from mundane conversations with my best friends. Like others, we like to share our lives.

From the moment I heard about her, I kept casting a spell 'she is just acquaintance, Joowon, you did not lose anyone. You don't really know her. It is okay.' It obviously did not work. I have come to think about what life and death are, whether God exists, or whether there is a next life. Multiplying these philosophical questions that no one can answer me, I sank into lethargy. It was not like 'I am depressed, and I don't want to do anything.', 'I would rather enjoy this moment of depression.', nor didn't justify with my emotion for an excuse for not making an art.

I didn't want this depression to be written in some way in my work. As my work is the archive of the moments that I want to cherish and archive.

The work will arouse the same feeling that I had, and probably recall to my mind and will hit me again. So, this time, I need to set up for a new work that has these criteria. First, use a method 'repetition' that allows me to concentrate on actions only. Second, hide core meaning inside. It was inspired by past work -tea set- with the process of emotional release through repetition.

To visualize ideas, I use stuff; The word 'stuff' seems sloppy, but I wanted to express how I perceive it; I do not want to sugarcoat it. Stuffs, for example, Poker cards I bought on Inter toy, drawn by the YouTube video about card trick. Uncoated copper wire; I should have purchased enamel coated copper wire. LCD pigment after watching a video from the 'Simply Nailogical' channel. Black 3.0 paint, from reading an article about a new version of black color, was released (against to Anish Kapoor). Home Surveillance camera purchased with anxiety after my underwear was stolen. And LCD monitors those which only 7 euros each, on Market place on Facebook.

About the work Fragility, I wanted to articulate the idea that 'one is closely related to the other.'. When one element is removed, the other components are instantly affected. From a distance, it seems solid and well-woven wall of cards; indeed, it is holding each other, fighting from gravity ceaselessly.

While I was stuck at home because of a quarantine situation, I moved the work to my home.

Experiment with copper wire, try to mimic my shaky voice.